Bring your own duct tape and rope!

After reading this you think about the choices you make when meeting ANYONE not just someone online. I know that I would have hung up about 2 minutes into this conversation but I'm glad the writer made the correct decision in the end. This blog is supposed to about the humor in dating but we can't ignore the danger in dating. PLEASE be careful!! Had this writer met him I'm afraid it could have turned out very bad for her. I will be making a post about dating tips in the next few days.

Ok, so this isn't really a 'date' story, but we WERE planning to go out that night and meet for the first time. ORIGINALLY, during our back and forth emails, he had said that he wanted to take me out to dinner. However, that story QUICKLY changes! What follows is the conversation of us trying to decide where to meet and what to do.

Me: So, what restaurant did you want to meet at?

Him: Did you really want to go to a restaurant?

Me: Well, that's what you said last time. Why? Would you rather go someplace else?

Him: I want to go someplace more private.

Me: (ok, how much more PRIVATE is this guy thinking we're going to get?!!) Um, ok....where did you have in mind?

NSD:: This is where I would have started to get really concerned.

H: I don't know...

M: uhm....ok, well what had you THOUGHT of doing then?

H: I don't know. I guess we can just drive around until we figure something out.

Me: (getting exasperated...AND thinking that there is no way in HELL I'm wasting gas money by aimlessly driving around Raleigh. And there's SURE no way in hell I'm getting in a car with him alone and riding around Raleigh!)
Ok, well why don't we just meet and then we can talk about where we want to go.

Him: ok.

*pause*

Me: All right, well WHERE do you want to meet??

Him: well...... are you familiar with capital blvd?

Me: mostly, yes. There are a bunch of restaurants up that way. Want to meet there?

Him: Oh, I thought we weren't GOING to dinner.

Me: well, we don't have to. BUT you don't seem to know what you want to do, and the restaurants are fairly close to me. So we could meet and then see where we wanted to go.

Him: well............hey, do you know where Advance Auto Parts is?

Me: (thinking he's trying to give me a landmark near some store or restaurant or something)
No, not really.

Him: Oh, I can give you directions. It's really easy to find, and we can just meet there around 9:00.

NSD:: This is where I would have hung up or told him I had another call coming in and never speak to him again. There is no rule saying you have to be polite to creeps.

Me: uhm...you're kidding, right?

Him: kidding? About what?

Me: First of all, I don't feel comfortable meeting some guy at an AUTO PARTS store on capital blvd after it's closed and especially at 9:00 at night!!

Him: But there are all kinds of cops around! And lots of people! I don't understand the problem!

Me: Well, I don't know you, and quite frankly, we had already decided we'd meet at 8:00 through emails anyway. 9:00 is too late for me. Remember, I told you I have class at 8 am, and I have to get up at 6:30 to make it there on time. So I can't stay out really late.

Him: But why can't we just meet at 9? Don't you like me? I like you!

Me: Ok, I haven't met you. So I don't know if I like you. But I already told you that 9:00 was too late for me.

Him: What about 8:30?

Me: No.

Him: fine...I GUESS I can make it 8. But you'd BETTER not try to leave early or anything. Cause I want to hang out with you for a long time!

NSD:: That comment is what makes me think he wasn't nieve and inexperienced but potentially very dangerous.

Me: Uhm.....ok- look, I already told you IN THE EMAIL that I'd have to leave by 9:30 so I could get home, finish up any homework I had, and get to bed. This is the whole reason of us meeting at 8, remember? YOU said 7:00 was too early in your email, so I pushed to to 8, and you agreed to it!

Him: I didn't agree to that!!

Me: Look, let's just NOT meet, ok? This whole thing is getting too complicated.

Him But I want to meet you!

Me: Then how about this- since you don't want to go out to eat, and you don't know where you want to meet (besides Advance Auto parts!!!), let's just meet at Barnes and Nobles at Triangle Town Center. It's on capital, it's quiet (thereby fulfilling his 'private' place requirement, and, by now, *my* 'needs LOTS of lights and lots of cops/rent-a-cops around' requirements!) and we can just sit and chat. How's that?

Him: I don't know where that is.

Me: Well, I can give you directions.

Him: okaaaaaaaay...I guess.

Me: You go up capital blvd until you get to triangle town center- it's on your right.

Him: What if I can't find it?

Me: (ok, this guy SAID he's lived in Raleigh for 5 years, and he doesn't freaking know where TTC is?!!!)
Well, you literally CAN NOT miss it! It's a HUGE shopping center. And it says TTC too.

Him: I don't know where it is.

Me: I just gave you directions.

Him: But what if I get lost?

Me: Ok, you literally go NORTH on capital blvd. If you get to wake forest, you've gone too far.

Him: I still don't know if I can find it. Why don't we just meet at Advance Auto parts?

Me: NO, I am not meeting you at Advance Auto parts. We can meet at TTC. (And seriously, HOW can you know where one random AA store is, and NOT know where the largest shopping center in Raleigh is?!)

Him: Oh, ok. And then you can get in my car and we can just drive around until we figure out where we want to go.

Me: NO, THEN WE CAN SIT AND CHAT IN THE CAFE THERE.

Him: Oh, but I thought we were going someplace else.

Me: Well, YOU didn't know where else you wanted to go! So I picked B&N.

Him: Well, I think it's too far.

Me: (It's like another 6 whole miles up the road from the fabled AA store!!!)
Fine. We'll just not meet then.

Him: But I want to meet you!!

Me: Then meet me at B&N!

Him: But I don't know where it is!

Me: I JUST gave you directions!

Him: But it's too far!!

Fine. We'll just not meet then.

Him: But I want to meet you! You've been saying for 2 weeks you'd meet me, and now you're trying to back out of it!

Me: I'm not trying to back out of it. But I told you where I wanted to meet. So meet me at B&N!

Him: But I don't know where it is!

Me: Ok, I JUST gave you directions, remember?!?

(At this point, my mom who's been eating dinner while this utterly RIDICULOUS conversation is going on says- does he need MORE directions??

Him: WHO IS THAT?!?!? WHO'S TALKING TO YOU? DO YOU HAVE SOMEONE THERE WITH YOU? WHO **IS** THAT?!?

Me: That's my MOM. And she was asking if you still needed directions, because she was trying to help me give you better directions.

(And no, she was really just trying to figure out who this psychopath was, and why he still couldn't figure out where TTC is, and whether or not I was going to go through with meeting this psychopath at all!!)

Him: Because I just feel like there's somebody there who's trying to talk you out of meeting me!!

Me: (actually genius, I don't NEED anybody to talk me out of meeting you!! You've done that ALL BY YOURSELF!)
You know what, I just don't think this is going to work out. Have a nice night. Bye.

And I hung up.

Honestly, I don't know why I didn't hang up about 10 minutes earlier. I guess I just kept thinking- this can't REALLY be happening. I MUST be imagining this conversation! Sadly, I wasn't.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this! I'd like to know that all my suffering wasn't completely for naught!

~Mary