Please think about the ghost on the right when you read about this wondrous date.
Stinky and I started emailing about a week ago. Over the weekend we switched to texting and were doing a LOT of texting and chatting. The plan was to meet for drinks. He said he didn't want to stay out too late and so to eat before I came. I ran around and got my stuff done after work and grab a bite to eat while I'm out and about. I get to the restaurant and he is sitting at the door. My FIRST impression is DAMN boy......you should have mentioned that the picture you sent me was 50lbs LIGHTER than you actually are! The picture I send people is actually a few pounds heavier than I actually am.
The hostess gets there and he said that he wanted to sit at a table because he hadn't eaten yet and was hungry. I told him that I had eaten already since he told me to. He said that was ok, he wouldn't mind eating alone and that I could entertain him while he ate. Not really a great start but ok...... As we were walking to the table I caught a whiff of something that wasn't great but I didn't think that much about it.
The table we were sitting at was fairly wide. At least 5'. When he laughed the first time I knew what I had smelled.......his BREATH!!! It wasn't the "I had onions at lunch" kind of stink it was the "I haven't brushed my teeth in a WEEK" kind of stink!! I was actually thankful that I wasn't eating!
He took his time ordering and eating. We talked but it wasn't a great conversation. He was telling me how he was in the Army. I told him that I had family that served and that they were Marines. Now, I'm fully aware that the different service members aren't particularly fond of each other but he started in on how he thought Marines were dumb and nuts. That they couldn't be trusted to do anything right....etc. I just told him that this was my FAMILY!
He served in Iraq and was telling me some stories about that. I said something about shooting a gun and he said that he didn't' like guns. After I picked up my jaw off the table I wanted to know HOW he was in the Army in IRAQ if he didn't like guns.... he said that he went to officer school and was too good to shoot, that he just gave the orders to shoot. UGH! Thank GOD he isn't still over there giving orders!
He was also telling me stories about people that I'm guessing are friends. He would start a sentence like: "Well Dave and I are going hiking this weekend." But there was not explanation of who Dave was or any of the other 10 people he talked about. I asked about the first one but he threw attitude back like I should know who these people are.
He was telling me about this one friend who was currently serving over seas and how he thinks that his 4yr old son might be gay. That he wasn't going to stand for that and was going to have to "man him up" because he wouldn't be able to be friends with someone that had a gay son. I had had enough!!!
So he is getting close to finishing his burger and I tell him that it has been fun but that I need to go let my dog out. That I didn't plan on staying this long. He said that he would think about calling me. I told him that if he was going to be a TOOL then don't waste his time.
This was all about 8:30 last night.
At 9:51 last night I get this text message: "Try not to spend ALL day tomorrow hung up on me ok?"
Y'all would have been proud of me, I didn't respond.
7 comments:
I have a friend and a cousin that both do the same thing with naming random people and act like you know them. They'll be like "Ron and I have been to this store before". Ill ask who Ron is and they'll say "I worked with him 3 summers ago in New Mexico". Ive never been to New Mexico, and Ive never heard of Ron!
This guy sounded like a jerk. It sounds like he didnt want to pay for your meal, so he told you to eat before hand. And oral hygene is VERY important!!!
Whats with these guys not looking like their picture? I hear ALL the time from women that the men they meet are heavier or alot younger in the photo they send. Its kinda like when people list a horse at 16.2hh but you go there and he is 15.3. Do they think you wont notice?
I look here every day in hopes there is a new post. I was so excited to see that there was!!!
I totally check every day for a new post, too! I love this blog.
It's kinda funny that humans are so receptive to scent, particularly when it comes to attraction, even though our olfactory skills aren't good at all. So if someone just smells so-so it's probably not going to work out, but if they smell BAD then...uck. That's one of the worst things.
I love that you called him a tool. A+
Girl, that is nasty. The military / gay 4 year old son comments... I would have slapped the stink off of him. lol I am VERY proud of you for not sending a text back. As you know, I would not have practiced that kind of restraint. See you soon.
Hilarious! I love your stories... they remind me of why I quit dating. You should not, however, give up at such a young age. I still believe there are good men out there... somewhere...
Give up? Nonesense! I am having too much fun!
I had a date lined up for Saturday but he called last night to cancel/postponne. Hopefully we can get together on Sunday so you guys can have a new story to read.
Oh man, bad breath is something that I just can't tolerate. I would have been gagging over my dinner... plus he sounds like a complete tool.
Good thing you won't spend "ALL day tomorrow hung up on him ok?"
Bravo for "no comment". Sometimes that just says it loud and clear.
36 & Single
wow! okay, so I came to your site via 36 and single, which was via PLFM.. i have said for years (i'm 35) that i will start going on date with random people and blog about it..now i don't have to!! lol..
anyway, i would have walked right out when he said he hadn't eaten yet.. clearly he just didn't want to pay for you.. stingy people are stingy in things other than money, too. and i want to curl up and die when i run across those people where it's not just bad breath, it's.. it's like death has taken up residence in their body.. almost like rotting from the inside out.. that would have made me walk out, too..! guess it's a good thing you didn't eat!
i haven't looked to see if you have an RSS feed yet, but will sign up if you do..!!
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