Leo Getz

Sorry for the lack of dates lately. I lost my job and have been SUPER busy.

I went to a lunch date today. I was meeting a 6' NYer that loves dogs. I met a hyper SHORT little man that was owned by his dog!!!

He was 7-8 minutes late without an apology. The place he picked wasn't open for lunch so we walked over to a burger joint. I had never been there before and it was GREAT, I wish the date was as good as the food.

He was more worried about finding out what things that I knew how to do that he didn't than anything else. It was like he was trying to find someone to tile his kitchen, put down hardwood floors, and train his dog.

He recently bought a house and he wants its value to go up. So he wanted to know what I could do to HELP!!! OMG!!!! Do I LOOK like Norm Abram?!?!?!?!(New Yankee Workshop)

I'm not here to help him sell his damn house!!!

Then he says he is going to call me soon and our second date we can bring our dogs so I can help him with a few of his dog's issues. UGH

There will NOT be a second date!!



On another really funny note I'm on eharmony. Thinking there will be less tools since there is an actual process before you get to talk to someone....boy was I wrong. I was told the other day (after 2 days of comminicating) that I was just too ugly for his style. ROFLMAO!!!!


A friend of mine and I were discussing men today. Where did all the men go? The real men, the men that take the initiative and approach a woman, that call her, that understand that pursuing a woman is ATTRACTIVE.

Twinkle Toes

Yes this was another interesting date last Thursday night. I'm sorry I haven't had a lot of dates recently. I love this blog but it gets hard to keep going out on HORRIBLE dates. I would love just a decent date....well on to the story.

Fred and I met for dinner. He works in the IT department but isn't one of the SUPER geeks. I think that would have actually been better.

Dinner was ok. I think he was a little nervous so he rambled a little bit. He was a little funny though. I did have to force a few laughs.

After dinner I was thinking that it wasn't so bad, I wasn't super attracted to him but at least I didn't have anything to blog about. This is where I should have gone home....instead I let him talk me into going bowling. It was still relatively early so I went.

I guess this is where the TMI and blog worthy stuff came out!

He has 2 cats. They don't have names.

He has rats. NOT the in the cage type....the in the kitchen cabinets type.

His rats are so big they scare the nameless cats.

He makes $60,000(my mom would be happy).

He lives in a singlewide trailer that needs to be condemed.

The trailer has holes in the floor.....probably how the rats get in.

All of this is OK in his mind because he has a WALL of speakers attached to all this homemade computers.

UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH

Brittany Brittany Brittany

Brittany is up to her old tricks again! This story was sent to me this morning by a friend of mine. I'm excited to have my first bad date story from the guy's side.

Lani writes:

I am Lani, a man in his mid 20's and I've always had my share of Bad Dates and awkward situations. My last date by far took the cake on my strangest first date ever. I met Brittany a few weeks ago while playing putt-putt with some friends. We talked about our mutual interest in biking a lot. So we exchanged numbers and agreed to talk later. So I called her later that week and went biking. I could tell that there was a mutual interest between us so at the end of the day biking, I asked her out for drinks on saturday night. She enthusiastically agreed and said I would call her on saturday and make final plans about when and where.

So on saturday we make plans to meet at a local bar. She also says that a really good friend of hers is going on a first date also that night, that maybe we could meet up with them at some point. I thought that would be a good idea.

I get to the bar and we have a few glasses of wine and everything is going really well. I am trying to read her body language. Even though the couches are not full or cramp, she's always making a point to be sitting where she is making some kind of contact with me. So I am reading all this like the night is going good. Then the power went out at the bar we are at. So at this point we agree to drive across town to another bar where her friend and date were at.

She leaves her car at the first bar and rides with me in my car to the next bar. So we spend the next couple of hours at the next bar which has just about any beer you can think of from all over the world. So I suggest we play the game of we both pick a drink from the list for each other but it has to be something neither one of us have ever tried before. We do a couple of rounds of this. She wanted to go for a third round of high gravity beer, I said I'd buy her another, but I'm going to have to sit this round out, since I would be the first one driving and did not think I needed to drink anymore.

At this point everything seems to be going well. I know at this point you're probably thinking "This sounds like a great date". I was thinking the exact same thing at this point. She was giving all the good signals, we were even handholding. So then she goes to the restroom. And I'm thinking of suggesting walking over to the local IHOP to cool off.

Well 10 minutes later she still has not come back. Her friend goes to check on her and comes back and says "I know she is not doing this crap again". Well at this point I am informed that she has a problem that when she drinks alcohol, she manages to go "wander off" So we wait another 45 minutes, me and her friend both tried to call her phone several times. Nothing no response at all. Her friend says I really should not take it personal. That in the restroom she seemed really excited to be out with me. That she has done this same thing to her at least 4 times in the past.

So I'm really kinda worried at this point, but her friend assured me, that she always manages to get home when she does this, to not worry about her. So I eventually go on home. My phone calls were never returned.

However I did get a email on Sunday Night from her apologizing and saying she does that every now and then, saying that after she wander'd off. She wrecked her car and was arrested for DUI. But she had fun and would love to hang out again. So I still don't know how she got 6 miles across town to her car in the first place. Hopefully it was by cab. So if there ever is a second date, I can guarantee alcohol will NOT be involved.

Mr Time

Last week I went on a date so mediocre it didn't deserve its own post. It was boring and painful and he called me "dude" like 50 times. Thank goodness it was only for a drink and I didn't have to suffer through dinner.

Lets move on to last night....TOTALLY blog worthy!(as my Dad says)

Mr Time is recently out of the military and just moved to the area. I picked the place and he picked the day and time. So we meet at one of the BEST little diners around. They have even been on the Food Network Channel a few times.

I was embarrassingly a few minutes late. I sent him a text letting him know and he said that he was running late too.

I get there and we sit at the bar. Originally we were meeting to get a drink but he said we should get dinner too after we sat down.

The conversation is a little rough at first but he responds in paragraphs to questions I ask him and is pretty easy to talk to....unless of course you expect him to ask questions about YOU.

Sadly I'm getting really good at forcing conversation and picking questions that require longer answers. I don't think past "How are you?" He asked me a single question. I did ALL the asking.

When we order our food he gets rude with the waitress. NOT a good idea! These waitresses aren't to be messed with. Think Kat Von D! He tells her to pick something for him to eat but it better be good because he will blame her if his food sucks. UGH!

Once we get our food and are almost finished he starts looking at his watch. I asked him(see another question! LOL) if he had somewhere to be afterwards. He said No, he just liked knowing what time it is.

He checked his watch every 3-4 minutes!! Finally around 7:45 he says its getting late and he needs to get going. We walk outside and he starts commenting on what type of tires I have on my truck and how another brand name of tires were especially made for my truck and how I should go get them.....now. LOL

As I was driving home I realized I was HIS bad date.....but in all fairness he can't judge me....he doesn't know ONE DAMN THING ABOUT ME!!! LOL

P.S. Bubba J wants another shot and keeps my phone and email pretty lit up. Don't worry....he isn't going to get one.

Bubba J

PLEASE watch this before reading any further:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iMd8Pm-2EE

Bubba and I have been chatting online for a while now. He rides horses and lived in VA and just recently moved to the area. We have only been talking on the phone for the past week or so and they haven't been very long conversations. We had plans to go out on Saturday but on Thursday he called and said he had to work. He wanted to go out Sunday instead but I had a full day. I told him I would call him if I got finished at a decent hour.

So after working with a draft horse, doing body work on another, and going to a 12 inning baseball game I was still in a great mood and hadn't crashed yet so I called him. I wasn't expecting to go out but I had told him that I would call. We chatted while I drove home and he wanted to take me out for a sushi dinner to make up for cancelling. I said ok. I rushed to feed the horses, shower, and change.

When we had decided on where to go and what time he had asked me for directions. He said that he had passed it once but didn't know where it was. He said he came out of downtown went a few miles, turned right at a light, saw it on his left, then turned left onto a well know highway where there was a Starbucks....I waited and waited and waited. Finally I said....and you can't get back there? His light bulb FINALLY went off and he laughed and said oh yeah! He knew where it was and would see me at 8. Click.

As I realize what just happened I kicked myself for not having a "Are you smart enough to date me" test. UGH at least I get a free sushi dinner out of it....

Since I wasn't at work and didn't have a desk handy it was ::head steering wheel:: ::head steering wheel::

He shows up about 5 minutes late claiming he got lost....I was nice and didn't make the snarky comment that immediately popped into my head.

We sat down and the conversation was actually pretty good. We talked about a lot of different stuff even before we opened the menus. It was friendly and we laughed a lot. When it came time to order he said that couldn't order sushi without pictures so he wanted me to order for us. That we would just split 5-6 rolls. So I ordered 4 rolls that I knew that I liked and were very popular and then one to try. The waitress walks away and as we get ready to start talking again his cell phone rings. I had mine on silent but could see that I had missed 2 calls already....I hadn't even moved to clear the call or alert that I had missed the call.

HE ANSWERED

Not only did he answer but he sat AT THE TABLE and had a full conversation. If it had been important I would have apologized and walked outside to have the conversation. Ugh!

We ate and chatted through dinner and as we were getting finished with the last of the sushi he gave me a funny look. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he hadn't looked at the prices and was wondering how much I had spent on dinner. He said that he hadn't looked at the sushi prices and was worried that I had ordered too much. I told him the general prices of the rolls we had gotten.

When the bill came it was only $35. He seemed pleased but I was still annoyed that it was blamed on me!

I had been able to steer the conversation away from horses for most of the evening. I didn't really want to hear his take on it considering his opinion of other things. He was telling me how he had taken lessons at a rehab farm and was put in charge of a rouge stallion (coughcougbullcoughshitcough). That the horse was trying to rear up one day and he grabbed his halter and looked him in the eye and everything was ok from there on out. That the horse was perfect....well except for that one time when he bit him but that was because he didn't pour his feed fast enough.

By now my fists are clenched and I'm politely trying to tell him that the horse actually taught HIM something not the other way around. He didn't get it at ALL. Then I am telling him about how that morning I had gone to teach a large draft mare how to pick up her feet and stand quietly for the farrier. He was lost, he said well you teach them to pick up their feet by making them move faster. I told him that I wasn't talking about a horse dragging their toes under saddle that I was talking about picking them up for grooming and trimming. He said he was too. UGH!

He will most likely call again but we are going to have to have the friends talk. I think I could get along with him as a friend but NOT as a relationship. At least this date was a step in the better direction.

Stinky

Please think about the ghost on the right when you read about this wondrous date.

Stinky and I started emailing about a week ago. Over the weekend we switched to texting and were doing a LOT of texting and chatting. The plan was to meet for drinks. He said he didn't want to stay out too late and so to eat before I came. I ran around and got my stuff done after work and grab a bite to eat while I'm out and about. I get to the restaurant and he is sitting at the door. My FIRST impression is DAMN boy......you should have mentioned that the picture you sent me was 50lbs LIGHTER than you actually are! The picture I send people is actually a few pounds heavier than I actually am.

The hostess gets there and he said that he wanted to sit at a table because he hadn't eaten yet and was hungry. I told him that I had eaten already since he told me to. He said that was ok, he wouldn't mind eating alone and that I could entertain him while he ate. Not really a great start but ok...... As we were walking to the table I caught a whiff of something that wasn't great but I didn't think that much about it.

The table we were sitting at was fairly wide. At least 5'. When he laughed the first time I knew what I had smelled.......his BREATH!!! It wasn't the "I had onions at lunch" kind of stink it was the "I haven't brushed my teeth in a WEEK" kind of stink!! I was actually thankful that I wasn't eating!

He took his time ordering and eating. We talked but it wasn't a great conversation. He was telling me how he was in the Army. I told him that I had family that served and that they were Marines. Now, I'm fully aware that the different service members aren't particularly fond of each other but he started in on how he thought Marines were dumb and nuts. That they couldn't be trusted to do anything right....etc. I just told him that this was my FAMILY!

He served in Iraq and was telling me some stories about that. I said something about shooting a gun and he said that he didn't' like guns. After I picked up my jaw off the table I wanted to know HOW he was in the Army in IRAQ if he didn't like guns.... he said that he went to officer school and was too good to shoot, that he just gave the orders to shoot. UGH! Thank GOD he isn't still over there giving orders!

He was also telling me stories about people that I'm guessing are friends. He would start a sentence like: "Well Dave and I are going hiking this weekend." But there was not explanation of who Dave was or any of the other 10 people he talked about. I asked about the first one but he threw attitude back like I should know who these people are.

He was telling me about this one friend who was currently serving over seas and how he thinks that his 4yr old son might be gay. That he wasn't going to stand for that and was going to have to "man him up" because he wouldn't be able to be friends with someone that had a gay son. I had had enough!!!

So he is getting close to finishing his burger and I tell him that it has been fun but that I need to go let my dog out. That I didn't plan on staying this long. He said that he would think about calling me. I told him that if he was going to be a TOOL then don't waste his time.

This was all about 8:30 last night.

At 9:51 last night I get this text message: "Try not to spend ALL day tomorrow hung up on me ok?"

Y'all would have been proud of me, I didn't respond.

Magnum!

I will be the first to admit that I felt a little sorry for this guy but was laughing too hard reading the story to care THAT much.

Meg writes:
So, I was really interested in this guy, Jason. I was a little intimidated, though, because he's very smart and very cute and he totally knew it. We ended up getting movie tickets but the showing wasn't for an hour so we decided to wander around the only open place in the nearby vicinity.

It was pretty late at night and everything else was closed. So we went to Circuit City and talked about movies we've seen/liked/blah blah blah. I was incredibly bored with Circuit City but having lots of fun with Jason. We were just standing there talking and he's fiddling with something in his back pocket. I see something fall out of his pocket. It's a small, square, metallic type material. Oh yeah, Magnum condom. I almost died. He turned bright red and scooped it up off the floor. At the time, I just thought it was funny and I thought he must have been so embarrassed, not realizing that "oh maybe he's expecting something tonight and that he's got something to say about the size of his package..." Genius.

So we went to see the movie and by the time it ended it was about 12:30 AM. Nothing happened at the movie. He was a gentleman. I think he was still embarrassed about the condom.

We were heading home (I knew him for a while so that's why I was comfortable being in car alone with him.) on the backroads and we come to a stop sign. I'm talking about waffles or something stupid and I hear this screeching. I looked up toward the curve in the road to our left and there's this car FLYING through the curve and clearly the driver is drunk. There was no time to do anything. The other car hit a pothole and spun sideways and hit us.

Everyone was ok but both cars were totaled and Jason had a bad bone bruise on his hip since the car hit his side. I had a minor concussion from hitting my head on the window. Later, when I crawled back into the car to get the insurance information, I found two more condoms in the glove compartment. This time I poked my head back out the window at handed them over and said, "Magnum, huh?"

This my first happy ending (get your minds out of the gutter!) story. Meg tells me that her and Magnum have been dating for 3 years and are engaged. YAY!