Mr Time

Last week I went on a date so mediocre it didn't deserve its own post. It was boring and painful and he called me "dude" like 50 times. Thank goodness it was only for a drink and I didn't have to suffer through dinner.

Lets move on to last night....TOTALLY blog worthy!(as my Dad says)

Mr Time is recently out of the military and just moved to the area. I picked the place and he picked the day and time. So we meet at one of the BEST little diners around. They have even been on the Food Network Channel a few times.

I was embarrassingly a few minutes late. I sent him a text letting him know and he said that he was running late too.

I get there and we sit at the bar. Originally we were meeting to get a drink but he said we should get dinner too after we sat down.

The conversation is a little rough at first but he responds in paragraphs to questions I ask him and is pretty easy to talk to....unless of course you expect him to ask questions about YOU.

Sadly I'm getting really good at forcing conversation and picking questions that require longer answers. I don't think past "How are you?" He asked me a single question. I did ALL the asking.

When we order our food he gets rude with the waitress. NOT a good idea! These waitresses aren't to be messed with. Think Kat Von D! He tells her to pick something for him to eat but it better be good because he will blame her if his food sucks. UGH!

Once we get our food and are almost finished he starts looking at his watch. I asked him(see another question! LOL) if he had somewhere to be afterwards. He said No, he just liked knowing what time it is.

He checked his watch every 3-4 minutes!! Finally around 7:45 he says its getting late and he needs to get going. We walk outside and he starts commenting on what type of tires I have on my truck and how another brand name of tires were especially made for my truck and how I should go get them.....now. LOL

As I was driving home I realized I was HIS bad date.....but in all fairness he can't judge me....he doesn't know ONE DAMN THING ABOUT ME!!! LOL

P.S. Bubba J wants another shot and keeps my phone and email pretty lit up. Don't worry....he isn't going to get one.

Bubba J

PLEASE watch this before reading any further:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iMd8Pm-2EE

Bubba and I have been chatting online for a while now. He rides horses and lived in VA and just recently moved to the area. We have only been talking on the phone for the past week or so and they haven't been very long conversations. We had plans to go out on Saturday but on Thursday he called and said he had to work. He wanted to go out Sunday instead but I had a full day. I told him I would call him if I got finished at a decent hour.

So after working with a draft horse, doing body work on another, and going to a 12 inning baseball game I was still in a great mood and hadn't crashed yet so I called him. I wasn't expecting to go out but I had told him that I would call. We chatted while I drove home and he wanted to take me out for a sushi dinner to make up for cancelling. I said ok. I rushed to feed the horses, shower, and change.

When we had decided on where to go and what time he had asked me for directions. He said that he had passed it once but didn't know where it was. He said he came out of downtown went a few miles, turned right at a light, saw it on his left, then turned left onto a well know highway where there was a Starbucks....I waited and waited and waited. Finally I said....and you can't get back there? His light bulb FINALLY went off and he laughed and said oh yeah! He knew where it was and would see me at 8. Click.

As I realize what just happened I kicked myself for not having a "Are you smart enough to date me" test. UGH at least I get a free sushi dinner out of it....

Since I wasn't at work and didn't have a desk handy it was ::head steering wheel:: ::head steering wheel::

He shows up about 5 minutes late claiming he got lost....I was nice and didn't make the snarky comment that immediately popped into my head.

We sat down and the conversation was actually pretty good. We talked about a lot of different stuff even before we opened the menus. It was friendly and we laughed a lot. When it came time to order he said that couldn't order sushi without pictures so he wanted me to order for us. That we would just split 5-6 rolls. So I ordered 4 rolls that I knew that I liked and were very popular and then one to try. The waitress walks away and as we get ready to start talking again his cell phone rings. I had mine on silent but could see that I had missed 2 calls already....I hadn't even moved to clear the call or alert that I had missed the call.

HE ANSWERED

Not only did he answer but he sat AT THE TABLE and had a full conversation. If it had been important I would have apologized and walked outside to have the conversation. Ugh!

We ate and chatted through dinner and as we were getting finished with the last of the sushi he gave me a funny look. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he hadn't looked at the prices and was wondering how much I had spent on dinner. He said that he hadn't looked at the sushi prices and was worried that I had ordered too much. I told him the general prices of the rolls we had gotten.

When the bill came it was only $35. He seemed pleased but I was still annoyed that it was blamed on me!

I had been able to steer the conversation away from horses for most of the evening. I didn't really want to hear his take on it considering his opinion of other things. He was telling me how he had taken lessons at a rehab farm and was put in charge of a rouge stallion (coughcougbullcoughshitcough). That the horse was trying to rear up one day and he grabbed his halter and looked him in the eye and everything was ok from there on out. That the horse was perfect....well except for that one time when he bit him but that was because he didn't pour his feed fast enough.

By now my fists are clenched and I'm politely trying to tell him that the horse actually taught HIM something not the other way around. He didn't get it at ALL. Then I am telling him about how that morning I had gone to teach a large draft mare how to pick up her feet and stand quietly for the farrier. He was lost, he said well you teach them to pick up their feet by making them move faster. I told him that I wasn't talking about a horse dragging their toes under saddle that I was talking about picking them up for grooming and trimming. He said he was too. UGH!

He will most likely call again but we are going to have to have the friends talk. I think I could get along with him as a friend but NOT as a relationship. At least this date was a step in the better direction.

Stinky

Please think about the ghost on the right when you read about this wondrous date.

Stinky and I started emailing about a week ago. Over the weekend we switched to texting and were doing a LOT of texting and chatting. The plan was to meet for drinks. He said he didn't want to stay out too late and so to eat before I came. I ran around and got my stuff done after work and grab a bite to eat while I'm out and about. I get to the restaurant and he is sitting at the door. My FIRST impression is DAMN boy......you should have mentioned that the picture you sent me was 50lbs LIGHTER than you actually are! The picture I send people is actually a few pounds heavier than I actually am.

The hostess gets there and he said that he wanted to sit at a table because he hadn't eaten yet and was hungry. I told him that I had eaten already since he told me to. He said that was ok, he wouldn't mind eating alone and that I could entertain him while he ate. Not really a great start but ok...... As we were walking to the table I caught a whiff of something that wasn't great but I didn't think that much about it.

The table we were sitting at was fairly wide. At least 5'. When he laughed the first time I knew what I had smelled.......his BREATH!!! It wasn't the "I had onions at lunch" kind of stink it was the "I haven't brushed my teeth in a WEEK" kind of stink!! I was actually thankful that I wasn't eating!

He took his time ordering and eating. We talked but it wasn't a great conversation. He was telling me how he was in the Army. I told him that I had family that served and that they were Marines. Now, I'm fully aware that the different service members aren't particularly fond of each other but he started in on how he thought Marines were dumb and nuts. That they couldn't be trusted to do anything right....etc. I just told him that this was my FAMILY!

He served in Iraq and was telling me some stories about that. I said something about shooting a gun and he said that he didn't' like guns. After I picked up my jaw off the table I wanted to know HOW he was in the Army in IRAQ if he didn't like guns.... he said that he went to officer school and was too good to shoot, that he just gave the orders to shoot. UGH! Thank GOD he isn't still over there giving orders!

He was also telling me stories about people that I'm guessing are friends. He would start a sentence like: "Well Dave and I are going hiking this weekend." But there was not explanation of who Dave was or any of the other 10 people he talked about. I asked about the first one but he threw attitude back like I should know who these people are.

He was telling me about this one friend who was currently serving over seas and how he thinks that his 4yr old son might be gay. That he wasn't going to stand for that and was going to have to "man him up" because he wouldn't be able to be friends with someone that had a gay son. I had had enough!!!

So he is getting close to finishing his burger and I tell him that it has been fun but that I need to go let my dog out. That I didn't plan on staying this long. He said that he would think about calling me. I told him that if he was going to be a TOOL then don't waste his time.

This was all about 8:30 last night.

At 9:51 last night I get this text message: "Try not to spend ALL day tomorrow hung up on me ok?"

Y'all would have been proud of me, I didn't respond.