Magnum!

I will be the first to admit that I felt a little sorry for this guy but was laughing too hard reading the story to care THAT much.

Meg writes:
So, I was really interested in this guy, Jason. I was a little intimidated, though, because he's very smart and very cute and he totally knew it. We ended up getting movie tickets but the showing wasn't for an hour so we decided to wander around the only open place in the nearby vicinity.

It was pretty late at night and everything else was closed. So we went to Circuit City and talked about movies we've seen/liked/blah blah blah. I was incredibly bored with Circuit City but having lots of fun with Jason. We were just standing there talking and he's fiddling with something in his back pocket. I see something fall out of his pocket. It's a small, square, metallic type material. Oh yeah, Magnum condom. I almost died. He turned bright red and scooped it up off the floor. At the time, I just thought it was funny and I thought he must have been so embarrassed, not realizing that "oh maybe he's expecting something tonight and that he's got something to say about the size of his package..." Genius.

So we went to see the movie and by the time it ended it was about 12:30 AM. Nothing happened at the movie. He was a gentleman. I think he was still embarrassed about the condom.

We were heading home (I knew him for a while so that's why I was comfortable being in car alone with him.) on the backroads and we come to a stop sign. I'm talking about waffles or something stupid and I hear this screeching. I looked up toward the curve in the road to our left and there's this car FLYING through the curve and clearly the driver is drunk. There was no time to do anything. The other car hit a pothole and spun sideways and hit us.

Everyone was ok but both cars were totaled and Jason had a bad bone bruise on his hip since the car hit his side. I had a minor concussion from hitting my head on the window. Later, when I crawled back into the car to get the insurance information, I found two more condoms in the glove compartment. This time I poked my head back out the window at handed them over and said, "Magnum, huh?"

This my first happy ending (get your minds out of the gutter!) story. Meg tells me that her and Magnum have been dating for 3 years and are engaged. YAY!

Awesomsauce

I have decided that you guys deserve more posts and since I have been busy the past few weeks I will broaden my blog to include pre-dating conversations. You guys will get to see the ones that don't make it to the date.

This guy gets major bonus points for originality and I admit that just for that I would go on a date with him. Curiosity killed the cat!

I got an email on a dating site last night.....NOT Plenty of Fish though. LOL

So, I was browsing through POF profiles, lookin' for people in my area to talk to, and get to know some new people, maybe even find that special someone. I came across your profile, and you really seem like an awesome person. So I thought I'd leave you a small "let's get in touch" note. If you'd like, drop me a line sometime, and maybe we can start something interesting. My messenger ID is XXXXXXX on yahoo messenger and AIM. I really hope to get back in touch with ya.
Danny

NOW, If you haven't figured out by now that this whole thing has just been copied and pasted, you probably shouldn't even message me back to begin with. Matter of fact, I'd be much more happy if you'd just stay as far the hell away from me on here as ya can. I know what your thinking, your either thinking "damn, like, dis guy really is an asshole 2 me" or "Well, at least he's honest" or, something to that effect. If it's the latter, please keep reading.

Truth is, no matter how smart, caring, intelligent, etc, etc, etc, I could possibly be, there's a good chance, that this letter will just end up getting deleted, possibly before it's even read. SO, that being said, why should I waste my time, typing you out a nice, note, just for you. While I am truly interested in you, and really would like to get to know you better, because of your fellow women, it's not worth my time. I suppose these dating sites has taught women to be even more superficial and men to be even more spineless. ANYwho...

I really WOULD like to hear from you, and even though this was copy and paste, at least it's (i hope) somewhat unique, and I truly wouldn't have sent it, if I hadn't at least found a couple of things that I liked. That being said....

PLEASE, don't message me back on here, giving me your messenger ID instead, and telling me to IM you sometime, I won't. I gave you my messenger ID in the first paragraph on purpose, and I'm not going to make the first move twice. Besides, if you really are that braindead and/or lazy, I probably shouldn't have sent this to you in the first place. If you DO message me back on here, PLEASE be kind enough to read though my profile first. I don't expect you to type out this big long paragraph, but I do expect a small bit of effort. SO....
If you've found this comical, GREAT.... I bet we'd get along quite awesomesauce. If your offended, PLEASE, go BACK (I wouldn't have messaged you if you hadn't before) to SCHOOL, put AWAY the cell phone, at least for a while, and go read a BOOK.

Hope to hear from you soon.
Danny