Captain Kirk and I had been chatting online for weeks. Things seemed good, we watched a lot of the same movies, had a similar sense of humor, and weren't in a huge hurry. Last week he asked about meeting. We both love sushi so it was decided we would meet at a great sushi place a few miles from my house.
I got there about 10 minutes early. About 5 minutes later I get a call from CK saying he was running pretty late. I said that was fine and told him what I was driving. 35 minutes later he shows up. I'm a little annoyed but not upset, at least he called.
You know those people you see in life.....the ones that obviously don't own a mirror or have friends??? He was one of those. He was wearing fake leather 2-tone brown shoes, jeans, a 20yr old sweater with a mock turtle neck that came up 4" from his wrist. He was styling with his scarf and black pea coat though.
We sat down and both ordered water and I asked for some edamame. He had never had it but was eager to try it. Before I could show/tell him how to eat them he was gnawing on the whole bean. I then explained to him how to get the beans out. Over the next few minutes he must have FLUNG 5-6 beans all over the place. He finally gave up.
While we were discussing the sushi menu he told me that he doesn't eat spicy food. So I informed him of the rolls to stay away from and he also shared his phobia of "white creamy things". He refuses to eat mayo or cream cheese and other similar substances. (insert me rolling my eyes) I order 2 rolls and he orders one. Says if he is hungry after that one then he will order something else.
You might be wondering why his nickname is Captain Kirk. I'm not sure if it was because he was nervous or what but he...was....searching for....his words....a lot....like.....his....idol....Captian KIRK! It got old VERY fast.
So we get our sushi and start eating. The conversation was going ok and it helped that I knew a lot of the wait staff and they were stopping by frequently to help me through this obvious pain!
While we are eating CK grabs a lump of wasabi. Wasabi is the hottest stuff on the PLANET. I asked him about this because he said he didn't eat spicy food. This is where I went WRONG.....very WRONG. He proceeds to share with me all about his intestinal issues. About what foods he can and can't eat in quantities and the damage it does to his body. I will spare you all the details but lets just say I didn't finish both of my sushi rolls.
About 2-3 pieces later CK grabs his right ear with his right hand and LAYS HIS HEAD DOWN ON THE TABLE!!!! By now, I know this isn't going past the check so as politely as I can I ask "Are you ok?". He then tells me that he has a ringing in his ear. That it isn't painful but that when it happens it only lasts about 30 seconds....he believes that he periodically picks up some form of communication............ I start stuffing sushi in my mouth so I don't laugh in this guy's face!!!!
After he recovers from this little "episode" he starts poking his sushi paranoid there is "white creamy" stuff on it. I inform him that it looks like the yellow part of an avocado.......he calms down and finishes his roll.
At this point I am past ready to leave. He orders some spring rolls. They are super tiny and all I can do is hope he eats fast so I can leave. When they get to the table he insists it is too much and that I need to help him eat them. They come with a nice sweet dipping sauce. I eat one and he asks if I would be upset if he double dips. I told him that I would prefer that he didn't . He gets MAD. Tells me that I watch too much Seinfeld(I don't understand that accusation) and tells me that he is going to at LEAST dip the other end. I didn't have anymore spring rolls.
We finally get the check and he pays. (WHOO HOO at least I don't have to pay to deal with this torture)
As we are leaving the restaurant he says something about going to see the movie Twilight. In case you don't know, its a movie about vampires. I am ready to be rid of him but also worried about him thinking he is a vampire so I decline that invitation. He seems disappointed but happily informs me that we will be going out again because I exceeded his expectations. (Well THATS good to know ::rolls eyes::)
Finally at my truck I say 'Thank you for dinner' and he grabs me to give me a hug. Normal hugs are 2...3 sec tops. I had to pull away after an awkward 5 seconds. It may not sound like a long time but it IS.
Safely in my truck I start calling friends and sharing the humor of my dinner!
I got there about 10 minutes early. About 5 minutes later I get a call from CK saying he was running pretty late. I said that was fine and told him what I was driving. 35 minutes later he shows up. I'm a little annoyed but not upset, at least he called.
You know those people you see in life.....the ones that obviously don't own a mirror or have friends??? He was one of those. He was wearing fake leather 2-tone brown shoes, jeans, a 20yr old sweater with a mock turtle neck that came up 4" from his wrist. He was styling with his scarf and black pea coat though.
We sat down and both ordered water and I asked for some edamame. He had never had it but was eager to try it. Before I could show/tell him how to eat them he was gnawing on the whole bean. I then explained to him how to get the beans out. Over the next few minutes he must have FLUNG 5-6 beans all over the place. He finally gave up.
While we were discussing the sushi menu he told me that he doesn't eat spicy food. So I informed him of the rolls to stay away from and he also shared his phobia of "white creamy things". He refuses to eat mayo or cream cheese and other similar substances. (insert me rolling my eyes) I order 2 rolls and he orders one. Says if he is hungry after that one then he will order something else.
You might be wondering why his nickname is Captain Kirk. I'm not sure if it was because he was nervous or what but he...was....searching for....his words....a lot....like.....his....idol....Captian KIRK! It got old VERY fast.
So we get our sushi and start eating. The conversation was going ok and it helped that I knew a lot of the wait staff and they were stopping by frequently to help me through this obvious pain!
While we are eating CK grabs a lump of wasabi. Wasabi is the hottest stuff on the PLANET. I asked him about this because he said he didn't eat spicy food. This is where I went WRONG.....very WRONG. He proceeds to share with me all about his intestinal issues. About what foods he can and can't eat in quantities and the damage it does to his body. I will spare you all the details but lets just say I didn't finish both of my sushi rolls.
About 2-3 pieces later CK grabs his right ear with his right hand and LAYS HIS HEAD DOWN ON THE TABLE!!!! By now, I know this isn't going past the check so as politely as I can I ask "Are you ok?". He then tells me that he has a ringing in his ear. That it isn't painful but that when it happens it only lasts about 30 seconds....he believes that he periodically picks up some form of communication............ I start stuffing sushi in my mouth so I don't laugh in this guy's face!!!!
After he recovers from this little "episode" he starts poking his sushi paranoid there is "white creamy" stuff on it. I inform him that it looks like the yellow part of an avocado.......he calms down and finishes his roll.
At this point I am past ready to leave. He orders some spring rolls. They are super tiny and all I can do is hope he eats fast so I can leave. When they get to the table he insists it is too much and that I need to help him eat them. They come with a nice sweet dipping sauce. I eat one and he asks if I would be upset if he double dips. I told him that I would prefer that he didn't . He gets MAD. Tells me that I watch too much Seinfeld(I don't understand that accusation) and tells me that he is going to at LEAST dip the other end. I didn't have anymore spring rolls.
We finally get the check and he pays. (WHOO HOO at least I don't have to pay to deal with this torture)
As we are leaving the restaurant he says something about going to see the movie Twilight. In case you don't know, its a movie about vampires. I am ready to be rid of him but also worried about him thinking he is a vampire so I decline that invitation. He seems disappointed but happily informs me that we will be going out again because I exceeded his expectations. (Well THATS good to know ::rolls eyes::)
Finally at my truck I say 'Thank you for dinner' and he grabs me to give me a hug. Normal hugs are 2...3 sec tops. I had to pull away after an awkward 5 seconds. It may not sound like a long time but it IS.
Safely in my truck I start calling friends and sharing the humor of my dinner!
2 comments:
I am glad that you let him get away without hurting him really badly! Maybe you should take him up on his second date request and suggest that you go to Dicks where you can show him the fine art of buying raccoon shot!
i love when guys are happy that YOU have made the cut..! LOL!
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